In total I drank sixteen or seventeen small cups of the clear, fiery liquor with an assortment of Chinese wedding people. Everyone admired my ability to drink and several people said, “you must become my teacher.” My pseudo-drunken response was always ‘hen hao’, which means ‘very good’ in Chinese. I impressed myself! Typically it isn’t the case that I can maintain such an abundant level of sobriety after a day full of drinking so much (i.e every Wednesday during college… just kidding!). I think the reason why I didn’t feel drunk was because I went in with a goal of keeping it all strictly business.
A Good Time
I was definitely overdressed and felt out of place because of this. Suit coat, tie… nice pants. My twenty-eight year-old local friend Robert invited me to go to the wedding with him because he wants to teach me more about Chinese customs in the area around his hometown. For this I am very thankful! It was the wedding of his friend whom I had previously met at a dinner party. I was very happy to go along, but felt like I was the eye’s equivalent of the plate if the couple was the savoury spread of food on top of it. There were many, many curious guests looking for a peek and finding it.
The baijiu toasting (pronounced ‘by-Joe’, which coincidentally is an expression used by my Grandpa Kon when he’s in awe of my ability to sing the ABCs whilst driving on the wrong side of the Interstate) began during the big reception. Typically this proceeds with the guests of the bride being served plate after plate of carefully prepared Chinese food then followed by the guests of the groom. The wedding party eats last, around two o’clock. For some reason I was in this crowd.
A Toast to the Bride & Groom!
All the while during the meal the fathers of the newlyweds walked around toasting the guests with cups of baijiu. By the time they got around to my table they were pretty drunk. The father of the bride vigorously shook my hand for about a minute before fumbling through the Chinese version of “when in Rome”. We took two cups together, which is the respectful way to toast someone during a wedding in my little slice of China.
The newlyweds also did this at every table. People were feeling buzzed, that’s for sure!
Another way to be polite in general, at least amongst men, is to offer cigarettes. Even though I do not smoke, after a while I gave up saying no and accepted them!
The atmosphere yesterday was light. Festive decorations and happy faces complimented the beautiful white dress of the bride. Nearly every person in the small village of Xiaochuan (which means ‘small river’) showed up. Xiaochuan is maybe a 40-minute journey by small bus from my apartment.
Before the reception comes traditional toasting with the parents and public recognition of the couple. Chinese custom has the bride and the groom toast the parents three times with tea, pour a full bottle of champagne onto a waterfall of cups and then toast one another with said champagne. A close friend, who in this case was a twenty-five year-old dude, hosts the ceremony by making witty remarks and wishing the couple a happy life. To me it seemed that he served as both master of ceremonies and best man.
Feelings of Family
It was a good six-hour day learning about the Chinese way of the wedding. On the bus back my friend Robert told me that he wants me to name his kid when he has one. He likes to say that he and I are brothers.
In my drunken stupor all I could say was ‘hen hao’.
Originally posted in an old blog.
My Peace Corps timeline of service.
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